Strength doesn’t always look or feel the way I think it should… if fact, it rarely does for me. I’ve been told many times in my life that I’m “so strong,” when in reality I feel anything but strong. I used to think that if people knew how afraid I really was or could see how impossibly weak I felt most of the time, then my secret would be exposed. And like most people, the possibility of being truly seen and rejected was enough to send me running in the opposite direction for much of my life.
I don’t run from who I really am anymore though. Even as I write these words and as I struggle to see my own strength on many days, I am reminded of the grit it takes to show up authentically day in and day out, no matter the cost – no matter what it looks like on the outside.
I think there’s a bias in our society today, one that claims strength is shown through force and power. Many of us were raised on a “Never let them see you cry” mentality. We talk about how great things like hustle and “success” are… but really when it comes to strength, I think we should be talking more about things like humility, surrender, and grace. Have you ever had to show grace to someone who has outright wronged you? That takes a strength we rarely see nowadays.
I guess all of this is to say, welcome to my little corner of the world. I’m Desiree Keen and this is my site, accurately named for how I feel most of the time in this human existence. This is where I share vulnerably and honestly all the parts that make up me – the joy, the grief, the pain, the silliness, the celebrations, the heartbreaks and my passions. It’s a mishmash really, which says a lot about who I am. I don’t have it all together. I often don’t have any of it together, but I spend my days learning to love the things that used to make me cringe about myself. Rather than turning away from opposition and fear, I now lean in. I wrap them tight and whisper truth to them. Sometimes it’s a soft whisper that only I would ever know about… and sometimes it’s a cry that puts me at the forefront of conflict, heartbreak, and loss. Either way, I am learning – constantly learning to stand firm in who I am and what I know in the depths of my heart. It’s not with the force most might think of when they think of strength, but instead it’s with a softness that reminds me to practice surrender over and over again.
Even writing this introduction is part of that practice. The fear of not being good enough or being wrong race through my mind as my hands struggle to type the words of my heart. Still, I am here. Still, I offer up this vulnerability so that you might see my imperfections and know that you too have a strength that can’t be seen. You too, in your truest & most authentic self, are exactly what this world needs right now.
Whatever’s been tugging at your heart, do it. Do it afraid. Do it uncertain. Whatever the lies say, don’t listen. instead, lean in and get honest with yourself. Don’t spend another minute living a life that is less than who you really are. I’ll be right there along side you. We can walk together – in fear, in grace, in surrender. Let’s live the full width of our lives and let’s start now.
My hope is that these words find you in the exact moment that you need them and that your journey leads you somewhere more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Mine certainly has.
In Love and Gratitude,
-Desiree
“Life is meant to be good.”