Goodbye 20s (…and good riddance!)

*So, I actually wrote this post a little over a month ago, on my birthday. In my struggle and procrastination though, I never got around to posting it …but I think it’s still a worthwhile read (at least for me it was). Re-reading it today has helped me to remember to search for the good in my life and to question the constant nagging of that negative voice inside my head. I just know today is going to be a good day! Happy reading…

June 6, 2016:

I turned 30 today. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a little challenging for me to wrap my head around. It’s not the actual turning 30 that gets me…. it’s that where I’m at in my life right now, is about the furthest from where I dreamed I would be. Heck, it wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to imply that even without the sickness, I still wouldn’t be feeling this way. My guess is that most people probably feel this way when they come across a milestone in their life. Life has a way of taking us down paths we never thought we would travel. It looks at our “cute” plans and scoffs. We picture our lives going one way, but inevitably they go another. And so it’s been with this milestone.

Today though, instead of focusing on where I thought I would have been and what I wish I could be doing, I want to focus on the things I am grateful for. And because I’m super cheesy, I will go ahead and list 30 of them… ya know, to celebrate every year of life so far.

 

Here goes (in no particular order):

1. My wonderful husband, Mike, whose unconditional love it greater than I thought possible
2. My sweet Charlie dog, and all of his cuteness
3. My (sometimes) sweet Ammory cat (and his new obsession with sleeping on my shoulder)
4. My amazing and supportive family (by blood, marriage, and destiny)
5. My incredible friends (they sure are amazing to put up with me for the last couple of years)
6. My ability to walk (even if it’s with a cane sometimes)
7. My cane
8. The doctors and professionals who care about me and not just my treatment
9. The house that I live in
10. The clothes on my back
11. The ability to love (especially in the face of fear)
12. The ability to smile…
13. …and to hug
14. A car to drive (even to places like the grocery store on a good day)
15. Mindless TV shows – like “The Bachelorette” (there, I said it …now you know my guilty pleasure)
16. Food to eat
17. Baby animals (you know… the fact that they exist)
18. Lessons in patience (despite the fact that I don’t seem to be a very good student where this is concerned)
19. Learning to overcome fear!
20. Yogurtland (yeah, another guilty pleasure …despite the fact that I’m not supposed to have dairy …or sugar …or most of the things that make a delicious cup of yogurtland, well, delicious. I have it anyway though …just on a rare occasion like my 30^th birthday)
21. Another day on this earth
22. The opportunity to care for others
23. Crafting (and the awesome craft fair my awesome friend Sarah set up for us)
24. The park down the street from my house
25. The Botanic Gardens (and the afternoons lost to there)
26. Waffles (even if they are gluten-free)
27. The medications I need (Ok, so admittedly it’s a love/hate relationship but I am grateful that I have access to them)
28. Books (even when I struggle to read them)
29. The ability to write (it’s often the only outlet I have …at least it’s a good one)
30. The grace of God (without which, my life would not be worth living)

 

I know that some of these are really cheesy …but… my point is that there are always things to be grateful for. I often need that reminder. A lot of things may have gone “wrong” in my life over the last few years, but when I take a step back and truly look, I am in awe of how blessed I am. So, this week as I head to my appointment with my main doctor, and as I start another round of treatment (coupled with the side-effects that it brings), I want to remember what I just said. I want to obsess over the blessings rather than the hardships. If life has taught me anything, it’s that there is no shortage of hardship (and I’ll make an educated guess that there never will be); however, it has also taught me that there is no shortage of blessings (and so, I venture to make the same educated guess that there never will be). I just have to choose which one I will focus on.

On that note, I’m off to Yogurtland with my husband. I hope you too are able to find something that brings you joy today…

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.” – Unknown