Some days it’s harder than others to stay the course.
Some days I feel like I’m just checking boxes rather than deeply engaging in my own healing.
Some days the voices of discouragement are much louder than those cheering me on.
Some days I feel like I’m failing… or at the very least, that I wish I could do better.
Some days I want to give up. Some days I do… at least for a short time.
Some days I feel so disconnected that I wonder if I was every really in tune at all.
Some days are harder than others…
__ __ __
It’s on those days, the ones that feel near impossible, that I try to cling to the little moments of joy. It’s the smile from a stranger – a shared glance of kindness. It’s the taste of sourdough toast with melted butter. It’s a flock of birds overhead or a playful puppy in the park. It’s the snow-capped mountains in the distance and the smell of pine needles. It’s the warmth of the sun on my skin.
The joyful little moments can feel fleeting and sparse at times, but if I allow them to, their sum can make up a beautiful and awe-inspiring life. The more I take time to embrace those quick glimmers of joy, the less bleak and hopeless this human existence starts to look. Dare I say, I might even start to enjoy my days. I might start to allow myself to feel the romance of this life.
I might start to experience a shift in the way I see things. I might swap scarcity for gratitude or anger for compassion. And as I start to see the world around me differently, I might also start to notice how those around me seem different too. Instead of the screaming man on the corner, maybe I see a scared and lost little boy. Instead of a society divided, maybe I see people, on all sides, afraid – just wanting desperately to feel safe.
I’ve seen it in my own life countless times… and in the lives of others too. Little moments have the ability to change everything. They may be small and go easily unnoticed but they have the power to shape my future. They have the power to heal and to guide. My days can either be made up of moments of joy and gratitude or moments of fear and scarcity. The former ushers in healing and presence while the latter blinds me to the very miracle that is this human existence. Even on my absolutely hardest days, there have been moments of joy and love to be experienced.
As a reminder to myself: I need to look for those moments with all that I have in me – to seek them out like it’s my only job in this life. To hold onto them, to protect them. I need to let those moments be my guide, not all the hardship. There will always be plenty of hardship. There will always be reasons to feel unloved and ungrateful. Don’t take the bait. Rebelliously search for the beauty and awe in this life.
Some days it may feel harder than others but seek out the good anyway. Set aside the bigger troubles and worries of the day and focus on what is in front of me. What beauty is right in front of my eyes, right now?
Cling to those little moments of joy everyday…
That’s the path forward. That’s my guide.
That’s how everything changes.